The Defining Characteristic of a Leading Lady


Have you ever looked at the women around you and wished you could be more like them? I’m not necessarily talking about envy, just admiration and a desire to have more of one characteristic or another. I have a friend, a mom of four, who always has the best perspective when it comes to parenting. Another woman I worked with for years was the hardest working individual I had ever met. My own mother sets an example for all of us in patience and compassion, and I have yet another friend whose creative genius is unparalleled.

I have a genuine desire to be a better mom, to work hard but also show patience and compassion to those around me. And even though my artistic ability is limited to drawing Christmas trees and butterflies, I still want to operate in ministry from a place of creativity and innovation. I could sigh and wish “if only” or I can decide to become the best version of me. Yes, God gave me a defined skill set, but He also gave me the capacity to learn and grow.

I believe a Leading Lady in ministry isn’t defined by age or title, it’s defined by willingness. Are you willing to grow and learn? Are you willing to pick up a book in those rare moments of unscheduled bliss and commit to becoming the best version of yourself? Are you willing to switch out your favorite playlist for a leadership podcast a few mornings a week? Are you able to receive critique and use it to construct? Do you shy away from change or are you consistently looking for new ways to advance your ministry? Do you strive to stay current with upcoming trends or do you poke fun at your own expense because you are unwilling to invest time into that which is unknown and uncomfortable?

A Leading Lady is only leading when she is growing. Click To Tweet

When she stops growing her influence will begin to diminish, and I refuse to believe God’s will is for us to be less influential.  He never wants to leave you or I where we are…even if where we are is pretty great. He desires for us to grow closer to Him and then lead others into a closer relationship with Him.

Whether your past is riddled with failure and frustration, or you’ve established a reputation for consistency and capability, your willingness to grow, learn, change, and adapt will determine your success as a Leading Lady in the future.

Here are several questions we can ask ourselves to help us measure our WILLINGNESS to grow and learn:

What was the last book I read (or listened to) to completion? What did I learn from it? How did I implement those teachings into my life?

What was my response to the last critique (either personal or within the realm of ministry) I received? Did I brush it off or consider its validity?

How comfortable am I carrying on a conversation with anyone outside of my generation? Have I taken the time to learn what matters to them? Have I stepped outside my comfort zone and inquired of someone with a drastically different perspective than my own?

Have I allowed the comforting nature of routine to kidnap my once curious spirit and nimble approach to ministry?

Although I believe WILLINGNESS is the starting point, I’ve also learned that becoming a Leading Lady takes love, patience, kindness, discipline, clarity, strength, endurance, compassion, empathy, and about a dozen other traits that depending on what day of the week we cross paths, I may or may not exhibit. However if we, as women, want to unlock the untold potential that God has placed inside of us, we have to start somewhere. I hope you will join me over the next few months here on FamilyMinistry.Church as we continue to discover what it takes to become a Leading Lady in ministry.


Jess Bealer

Jessica Bealer has been leading children’s ministry for 17 years. The last five years have been spent overseeing standards, systems, staffing and atmosphere for the children’s ministry of Elevation Church. She has overseen the launch of nearly twenty locations, and is considered a specialist in kidmin multisite. Jessica is a mother of four and published author. She is married to Frank, the CEO of Phase Family Centers and Executive Director of Leadership Development at Orange. Together they are the founders of FamilyMinistry.Church.

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3 thoughts on “The Defining Characteristic of a Leading Lady

    • Great Article. I too, feel the same way about constantly reading and learning from great authors and good books. I also agree that they help you to grow in your relationship with God and in return to lead other people to a closer spiritual walk. Thanks! Look forward to reading more of your articles.