The “What If” Phenomenon

A Women's Leadership Workshop Podcast

Fear can be debilitating. So many times we allow the uncertainty of the unknown to steal tomorrow’s potential. In this podcast, I share how my daughter’s fear nearly robbed her of the joy of dancing.

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To help you keep the “what ifs” in perspective, we’ve created a smart phone background with today’s scripture from Isaiah 12:2. Right click to download now.

If you enjoy today’s Podcast, I would encourage you to subscribe and share so that you and your friends can experience a challenging and inspiring word every Wednesday morning.

To listen to other Women’s Leadership Workshop Podcasts, click HERE.

Jess Bealer

The Real Me, Part 2

A Women's Leadership Workshop Podcast

Life can be hard. It’s made easier with friends by our side. In this episode of the Women’s Leadership Workshop Podcast, I share how transparency with a close friend and confidant helped me endure one of the toughest seasons of my life.

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If you enjoy today’s Podcast, I would encourage you to subscribe and share so that you and your friends can experience a challenging and inspiring word every Wednesday morning.

To listen to other Women’s Leadership Workshop Podcasts, click HERE.

Jess Bealer

The Real Me, Part 1 Transcript

A Women's Leadership Workshop Podcast

The goal of the Women’s Leadership Workshop Podcast is to bring practical insight and relevant leadership lessons to women. We want to help ladies everywhere learn to lead better. You can listen to all the latest podcasts now by clicking HERE. If a blog format is more your style, we’ve got you covered. Below you will find the transcript to Episode 4. You can read now!

The Real Me

Part 1

“Jess…you’re good at what you do…but, you are crippling your ministry. No one wants to be friends with a “perfect person.” And no one you lead expects you to be faultless. If you only show people the person you pretend to be, how can anyone connect with the real you? And if they can’t connect with you it won’t be long before they move on.”

When my desk phone rang that early afternoon in May, I expected it to be a fellow staffer or maybe even a church inquiring about a system or strategy we employed. I was not expecting my pastor’s project manager. She requested that I report directly to Pastor’s office. I have to admit…it felt a little like grade school when I stole Amanda Baker’s Hello Kitty Markers and then got called to the principle’s office.

A few moments later, when I walked in his office, my mind was put to ease. I wasn’t the only one (whew…sigh of relief). In fact, there were about 6-8 other staffers, mostly women sitting and chatting with Pastor.

“Hey Jess (Pastor called)…as you know Mother’s Day is next week and I wanted to get a few moms together with a couple members from our creative team and bounce around some ideas. You up for that?”

For the next hour I listened as woman after woman shared about the difficulties of being a mom in ministry. When it came my turn to share I pretty much nodded and alluded to everything that had already been said.

I could see the curious look on my Pastor’s face. He wasn’t buying my answer. “Why don’t you want to share your personal struggle? Is it difficult.”

I sat stunned. Not only, was I not expecting such a blunt inquiry, but for goodness sake…did he really have to hit the nail on the head with such precision?

I sighed and took a deep breath before I replied, “I’m a preacher’s kid. Growing up if I did something wrong, everyone knew about it and everyone had an opinion on how to right my wrong. I just learned that it was better to smile and pretend.”

I watched as my pastor’s face softened in sadness. Almost like he was heartbroken for me.

“Jess, you’re good at what you do, but you are crippling your ministry. No one wants to be friends with a “perfect person.” And no one you lead expects you to be faultless. If you only show people the person you pretend to be, how can anyone connect with the real you? And if they can’t connect with you it won’t be long before they move on.”

I’ve struggled throughout my life with vulnerability and transparency. I want those I lead to believe in me and have confidence in the decisions I make. Up until this point in my life I had always assumed that meant I must appear put-together, in control, and perfect. I mean…how could I lead someone if they knew I was just as messed up as they were?

That day…that moment in my pastor’s office was eye opening for me. My flawless impression was actually impairing my ministry.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9:19-22…

“Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”

Paul was a complicated man. He had many roles, one of which was the role of Pastor to the Church at Corinth. It’s clear in the way he writes lovingly and passionately to the people there. In Chapter 8, just before he writes the passage we just read, and again later in Chapter 10, Paul addresses an issue with meat. Essentially, he tells those early Christians that they are FREE. Because they know the truth and have put their faith in the Son of God, they are no longer bound by arbitrary laws. However, in Chapter 9, Paul begins to issue a challenge. Just because the Church at Corinth has freedom does not mean they should neglect their ministry. Instead, they must become all things to all men.

The line that hits home for me is in verse 22, “to the weak I became weak, so that I might win the weak.”

Ministry is messy. God is in the business of saving broken and hurting people. I was once one of them and in many ways still am. When shared, my mistakes become my ministry. My vulnerability has value.

As my pastor said, “People can’t connect with the person I pretend to be.” And even if they could, it would be founded in mistruth and deception. The relationships God has positioned you in are purposeful. Whether they are family members, friends, co-workers or those with whom you’ve been charged to lead, there is a reason God has brought you together. He has positioned you for impact.

So here’s your challenge today: Be real. Don’t pretend. When someone shares a struggle or frustration take the time to empathize and share your story. God has done great things in you. Maybe it’s time for you to share them.

Your vulnerability has value and the dividends are incalculable.

I hope you’ll join me again next week on the Women’s Leadership Workshop for Part 2 of The Real Me, in which we’ll be discussing the difference between vulnerability and transparency.

 

How to STAY CONNECTED and GROW as a Married Couple in Ministry

As Featured on the Married People Podcast

For the final episode of the 2017 Married People podcast, Frank and I were invited to share how, despite our demanding schedules, we stay connected as a married couple. We don’t have all the answers. Honestly, I’m not sure we ever will, but there is one thing we do, one habit we’ve formed that helps keep us connected and growing in our relationship.

Click HERE to listen now.

For additional podcast content, check out my new WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP WORKSHOP Podcast.

Jess Bealer

Make 2018 Your BEST YEAR YET

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

If you’re anything like me, you have big plans for 2018. I want to be a more patient mom, a more attentive spouse, a stronger leader and I want to find ways to increase my efficiency and effectiveness in ministry. In order to do this, I need a plan. One of the best ways I’ve found to grow consistently is by reading and listening to great leadership content. I already have my eyes on a few books for 2018 and I’m adding two additional podcasts to my daily rotation.

If you’re looking for something new that will be both challenging and encouraging, I have a few suggestions…

Check out my new book, DON’T QUIT, coauthored with Gina McClain. The best things in ministry come over time, but ministry is messy and can oftentimes feel overwhelming. We wrote this book to give you insight to help you better navigate the different seasons of your ministry, as well as offer tips and advice on how to endure tough days. DON’T QUIT is available on Amazon or at DontQuitBook.com.

The WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP WORKSHOP Podcast launched in December. The goal…to help women learn to lead better. Each podcast is approximately 10 minutes long. It’s narrative style and offers a personal story from my life. Each episode contains a passage of scripture and a weekly challenge. A new episode is released every Wednesday morning. Click HERE to listen now.

If you spent 2017 apologizing to your spouse and kids because you just couldn’t seem to find a good balance between family and ministry, I would encourage you to pick up my husband’s book, THE MYTH OF BALANCE, also available on Amazon or at MythOfBalance.com. If you’re an audio book aficionado, you’ll be pleased to find it offered in that format as well.

There are also tons of great resources as OrangeBooks.com.

Whatever your goals may be for 2018, a good first step is finding the right resources that speak to you in your season of life.

I’m praying and believing great things for you, your family, and your ministry this year!

Jess Bealer

 

Merry Christmas From My Family To Yours

I just want to take a moment to say THANK YOU for your constant support and encouragement! My hope is that you find FamilyMinistry.Church insightful and challenging, a resource to help you move your ministry forward faster. A life in ministry can be hard, but it’s easier when we share and learn together. Wishing you a safe and happy holiday filled with memory making moments. MERRY CHRISTMAS from my family to yours!

Jess Bealer